How Can I Help My Child Build Their Confidence?

By Julie Diamond

Founder, Diamond Teachers Group

Sign up for our FREE Math Workshop (Halloween themed) for Tuesday, October 21st 730-830 EST. Ideal for students in grades 4-7 but all are welcomed to join! [Sign up here]

It used to stop me in my tracks.

When a student would blurt out something like, “I’m stupid,” I felt stunned. My mind would race: Why are you saying that? I tell you how capable you are every day!

And yet, as many educators and parents discover, affirmations alone aren’t enough. Words of encouragement, while important, can’t always reach deep into a student’s inner world. When that inner voice turns harsh or negative, it can feel impossible to know what to say or how to help.

Many children internalize messages from teachers, peers, or even themselves, believing they are “stupid” or “bad at math.” This negative self-talk can affect motivation, participation, and long-term success. That’s why building lasting confidence in learning is about more than praise. It’s about creating an environment where students feel capable, engaged, and curious, and giving them tools to overcome self-doubt.

Why Words Alone Aren’t Enough

You may have read my previous blogs on building academic confidence or supporting ADHD learners, where I’ve emphasized routines, checklists, and strengths-based learning. Those strategies work because they combine encouragement with action and give students tangible ways to succeed.

Similarly, when it comes to math, simply telling a student they’re “smart” or “capable” doesn’t always help. Children need to experience success, understand their own strengths, and develop the ability to challenge negative thoughts on their own. This is especially true for kids who may struggle with perfectionism, math anxiety, or attention challenges, where self-doubt can become their go-to frame of mind.

Creating a Safe Space for Confidence

One of the most important steps you can take is creating a safe, supportive environment where your child feels heard and empowered. This means:

• Listening without judgment: When they express frustration or self-criticism, resist the urge to immediately correct or dismiss it. Instead, acknowledge their feelings: “I hear you. That was really tricky.”
  
  

• Asking questions that guide reflection: Instead of saying, “No, you’re not bad at math,” try asking, “Which part of that problem felt hardest?” This encourages problem-solving and self-awareness.
  
  

• Providing opportunities for choice and control: Small decisions in learning, like choosing which puzzle or problem to solve first, can help your child build agency and confidence in their abilities.
  
  

Math Puzzles Workshop: Confidence Through Play

At Diamond Teachers Group, one of the most effective ways we help students overcome negative self-talk about math is through our FREE Math Puzzles Workshop. This hands-on, interactive workshop is designed to:

• Engage students with fun, challenging math puzzles that emphasize problem-solving and creativity rather than rote memorization.
  

• Encourage collaboration and discussion, so students see multiple ways to approach a problem.
  

• Give students small wins and opportunities to succeed, building confidence one step at a time.
  

• Reduce math anxiety by showing students that mistakes are part of the learning process, not proof they are “bad at math.”

A slide from our Math Puzzles workshop last year. There are three scales with different combinations of items and different weights on each. The first has three cups of cocoa showing a weight of 39 ounces, the second has a cup of cocoa, a to go coffee cup and a snow globe showing a weight of 105 ounces, and the third scale has two to go coffee cups and a cup of cocoa with a weight of 37 ounces. The problem is to solve how much each of the three items weigh.

When children experience success in a low-pressure, playful environment, it changes how they talk to themselves about math. Statements like, “I’m so bad at math,” are replaced with, “I figured this out!” or “I can try another way!” These moments of empowerment carry over into the classroom and into other subjects as well.

Practical Tips You Can Use in the Classroom or at Home

In addition to workshops, here are a few strategies that reinforce math confidence and general self-esteem:

• Incorporate movement: Students often process thoughts and emotions better when they can move. Let them pace while working on problems 🏃‍♂️, offer alternative seating like a beanbag or exercise ball, or schedule short movement breaks.
  
  

• Visual supports: Use checklists, charts, or step-by-step problem guides so students can track progress and celebrate small wins.
  
  

• Positive reinforcement: Specific praise is powerful. Instead of generic “good job,” try: “I noticed you tried three ways to solve that puzzle. That persistence is amazing.”
  
  

• Model self-compassion: Demonstrate how to handle mistakes with curiosity: “I made a mistake, and that’s okay. I’ll try a different approach next time.”
  
  

The Bigger Picture

Building confidence isn’t about eliminating mistakes or always getting the right answer. It’s about helping your child challenge negative self-talk, recognize their strengths, and approach challenges with curiosity and resilience. When learners internalize this mindset early, they grow into young adults who trust their abilities, tackle problems creatively, and recover from setbacks more easily.

By combining fun, hands-on experiences like our FREE Math Puzzles Workshop with supportive, strengths-based strategies at home and in the classroom, your child can finally see themselves as capable, confident learners, both in math and beyond.

Because every child deserves to hear not just, “You’re smart,” but to truly feel it, inside and out.