What Do I Do When My Child Says They Hate School or Aren’t Good at Math?
By Julie Diamond, OCT
Founder & CEO, Diamond Teachers Group
Rebuilding Confidence and Fostering a Growth Mindset at Home
🧠 Why These Words Matter
"I hate school."
"I’m just not good at math."
When your child says things like this, it’s more than just frustration—it’s a signal. These statements often reflect low confidence, fear of failure, and a fixed mindset. The good news? You can help shift this thinking and rebuild their belief in themselves starting at home.
A male teen looks upset with his head down and a women who appears to be his mom is comforting him.
👂 1. Listen First: Validate Their Feelings
Before jumping in to reassure or correct, pause and really listen to what they have to say. Children need to feel heard before they’re ready to accept help.
Try saying:
“That sounds really tough. Want to talk about it?”
“It’s okay to feel stuck sometimes. I’m here to help.”
Resist the urge to say “Don’t say that” or “You’re great at math!” right away. First, listen to their feelings and experience.
🔁 2. Shift Their Self-Talk
Statements like “I’m not a math person” show a fixed mindset—the belief that ability is static.
Reframe it with growth mindset language:
“You’re not there yet but you’re learning.”
“Every mistake is helping your brain grow.”
“Let’s figure out where it’s tricky and try another way together.”
Changing the narrative helps shift how your child sees themselves as a learner.
A poster that says ‘Mistakes Are Proof You Are Trying.’
🛠️ 3. Celebrate the Process, Not Just the Product
Don’t just celebrate correct answers—celebrate the effort and strategies they used.
Say things like:
“I love how you didn’t give up when it got tricky.”
“You tried a new strategy today—that’s how real learning happens!”
This reduces fear of failure and builds resilience.
📈 4. Create Opportunities for Small Wins
Confidence grows with consistent small successes.
Focus on:
One skill at a time (e.g., times tables, paragraph structure)
Fun formats (games, puzzles, creative activities)
Visual trackers (checklists, progress charts)
These “learning muscles” build strength over time.
👨👩👧👦 5. Model Your Own Growth Mindset
Kids learn from how we handle our own struggles. When they see you persevering, they understand that effort—not perfection—is what counts.
Try modeling phrases like:
“This is hard, but I’m figuring it out.”
“I used to find this tricky too but practice helped me improve.”
✏️ 6. Use Tutoring as a Tool for Empowerment
Tutoring isn’t just about catching up—it’s about rebuilding confidence.
At Diamond Teachers Group, we:
Pair students with experienced, caring certified teachers.
Use personalized learning plans based on each child’s unique needs.
Align tutoring with school and introduce students to material ahead of time to prepare them for class.
Make learning engaging, visual, and interactive with our online platform.
Support students academically and emotionally.
We’ve seen students go from “I hate math” to “I’m getting this!”—and we’d love to help your child get there too.
A Caucasian person is holding Uno cards.
💡 7. Reignite Joy and Curiosity
Learning doesn’t just happen at a desk. Protect your child’s joy with playful, low-pressure learning at home:
Read just for fun
Play math or word games (Uno or Chess are favourites at my home!)
Ask open-ended questions like “What did you learn today that surprised you?”
Let them “teach” you something they’re proud of
Small moments of joy rebuild a love of learning one step at a time.
🌟 Final Thoughts: “I’m Not Good at This” Can Become “I’m Still Learning”
When your child says they hate school or feel they’ll never understand math, it’s not the end—it’s an invitation. An invitation to listen deeply, respond with empathy, and start a new path forward rooted in growth, support, and belief.
At Diamond Teachers Group, we’re here to support that journey with expert tutors who know how to meet kids where they are and help them shine.
👉 Explore Our Services
👉 Book a Free Consultation with me
Together, we can help your child say something new:
“I can learn this.”
“I’m figuring it out.”
“I’m ready to shine.”