Do You Know How Your Teen Learns Best? Why Learning How You Learn Matters
Julie Diamond is a certified teacher in Canada and the Founder & CEO of Diamond Teachers Group, a teacher-only tutoring company providing 1:1 online tutoring with provincially certified teachers.
Last week, I wrote about the changes to Ontario’s high school expectations this year and what they could mean for students and families [LINK]. With attendance now part of students’ grades and mandatory exams being introduced, there is a greater emphasis on students taking responsibility for their learning and their success. It got me thinking about something I see often as an educator and tutor: How independent are our teens really when it comes to learning?
We expect students to become more independent as they move through high school. We expect them to manage deadlines, prepare for tests, communicate with teachers, ask for help and figure out how to study. But how often do we actually stop and teach them how to do those things? And perhaps even more importantly, how many teenagers actually know how they learn best?
For many students, they probably don’t know, and that's okay. In fact, I think it is a great opportunity.
Learning How You Learn Is a Skill
There is no single study strategy that works for every student. What works beautifully for one student may be frustrating or ineffective for another.
Some students are highly visual. They benefit from diagrams, colour coding, charts, graphic organizers and seeing an example solved.
Some students learn well by hearing information explained. Talking through a concept, explaining it out loud or listening to someone teach it can help the information stick.
Others benefit from writing, whether that's taking notes, creating their own summaries, making flashcards or writing out practice questions.
Some students need to move, practise or interact with the material. They may learn best by working through problems, using manipulatives, acting something out or applying the concept to a real-life situation.
Most students aren't simply one "type" of learner, either. We all use different strategies depending on what we are learning. A student might benefit from a diagram when learning biology, talking through a concept in history and solving practice problems when studying math.
Rather than trying to identify themselves as one particular type of learner, I encourage students to explore which strategies help them understand and retain different types of material. This approach gives them the flexibility to choose the strategies that work best for the task at hand.
Help Your Teen Become a Learning Detective
One of the best things you can do as a parent is encourage your teen to become curious about their own learning. After a test, assignment or tutoring session, instead of simply asking, "What mark did you get?" try asking, "What helped you learn that?" or "What did you do differently this time?"
You can also ask them, "What part felt easiest?", "Where did you get stuck?" or "What strategy would you try next time?" These questions help move the focus away from simply measuring the outcome and toward understanding the process.
If your teen gets a great mark after practising questions out loud, maybe that's something worth remembering. If they spend two hours rereading their notes and still don't feel confident, that's useful information too. Maybe rereading isn't the best strategy for them.
Learning how to learn involves some trial and error.
Don't Confuse Studying With Learning
This is a big one. A student can spend hours "studying" without actually learning very much.
Rereading notes over and over can feel productive because the information looks familiar. But being able to recognize something on a page isn't necessarily the same as being able to recall it independently.
Encourage your teen to try more active strategies.
Close the book and see what they can recall aloud.
Explain the concept to someone else.
Create their own practice questions.
Complete practice problems without looking at the answer first.
Make connections between new information and something they already understand.
Use flashcards to test recall rather than simply reading them.
The goal is to move from a passive approach where the material looks familiar on the page to a more active approach where your teen can recall the information, write it down in their own words or explain it to someone else.
What Should Your Teen Do When They Get Stuck?
Another important part of becoming an independent learner is knowing what to do when you don't know something. Getting stuck is normal. The important part is what happens next.
Instead of immediately saying they don’t understand, encourage your teen to identify:
What exactly don’t I understand?
What do I already know? (Have them jot that down)
Can I find an example?
Can I try a different strategy?
Wat specific question can I ask my teacher or tutor?
That last question is particularly important because asking for help is part of learning.
It doesn't mean they aren’t smart enough. It means they recognize that they have reached a point where another explanation, example, strategy or perspective could help. Being able to advocate for yourself is an important skill in high school and well beyond it.
Give Your Teen More Ownership
If your teen is old enough to manage a phone, a social media account, a gaming schedule or a busy sports calendar, they are also capable of taking more responsibility for their learning.
That doesn't mean parents should step away completely. It means we can start shifting from doing things for them to helping them learn how to do things for themselves.
For example:
If your child has a math test coming up, instead of emailing the tutor yourself, encourage your teen to upload the review sheet and tell the tutor what they're struggling with.
If they have an upcoming assignment, ask them what their plan is rather than immediately creating one for them.
If they receive a disappointing mark, resist the urge to immediately fix it. Ask what they think happened and what they might do differently next time.
These small changes can help teens begin to see themselves as responsible for their learning.
Parents Don't Have to Have All the Answers
One of the things I want parents to hear is that you don't have to know exactly how your child learns. You don't need to become a study-skills expert.
Your role can simply be to help your teen become curious about themselves as a learner and encourage them to try different strategies.
Teachers and tutors can help too. At Diamond Teachers Group, this is something we talk about with our students regularly. We want our tutoring sessions to be about more than getting through tonight's homework. We want students to develop strategies they can take with them into their classroom, their next course and eventually their post-secondary education or career.
That is where true independence starts to develop.
A New School Year Is a Great Time to Start
With the increased expectations facing Ontario high school students this year, I think there is no better time to help teens take a closer look at how they learn.
Don't wait until they are overwhelmed by a difficult course or sitting down the night before an exam wondering where to begin. Start now.
Ask your teen what helps them focus. Try a new study strategy together. Talk about what worked after their next test. Encourage them to ask their teacher a question. Let them take the lead when preparing for tutoring sessions. Remind them that figuring out what works for them is a process.
Shine Bright: Learn How You Learn
This is exactly why we're focusing our October Diamond Teachers Group workshop on this topic.
Shine Bright: Learn How You Learn will take place on Saturday, October 3 from 12:00–1:00 p.m. ET and will be led by Taha, an Ontario-certified teacher with more than 20 years of teaching and tutoring experience.
During this interactive workshop, students will explore how they learn, discover practical study and test-taking strategies, learn what to do when they feel stuck and develop greater confidence in asking for help and taking ownership of their learning.
The workshop is ideal for students in Grades 9–12, although students in Grades 7 and 8 are welcome too.
The cost is $30 per student, and it is free for children in families currently registered with Diamond Teachers Group.
My hope is that students leave not with another list of things adults have told them they should be doing, but with a better understanding of themselves as learners and a few practical strategies they can actually use.
Because ultimately, we want our teens to understand how they learn, know what to do when they are stuck and feel confident asking for help when they need it. That is independence, and it is one of the most valuable skills we can help our teens develop.
If you are interested in learning more about our Shine Bright: Learn How You Learn workshop on October 2, 2026, please click the button below.