How Can I Help My Kid Manage Holiday Stress and Expectations?
By Julie Diamond, Founder & CEO of Diamond Teachers Group
The holiday season is often described as magical, but for many families, it can also be a source of overwhelming stress. Between social gatherings, disrupted routines, late nights, new environments, and the general excitement of the season, children can experience stress just as intensely as adults, and sometimes even more.
As parents, we can help our kids navigate this busy time with confidence, calm, and a sense of connection. Here are practical strategies to support your child’s mental health and well-being throughout the holidays. For ideas to help support your child’s mental health using art, check out the previous blog post I wrote.
1. Keep Routines Steady Wherever Possible
Holiday plans often mean later bedtimes, big meals, errands, and outings, but kids thrive on predictability. Maintaining a few core routines helps your child feel grounded when everything else feels unfamiliar.
Try to preserve (whenever possible):
A consistent sleep schedule (within 30 minutes of their usual time)
Familiar meals or snacks during busy days
A morning routine that stays mostly the same
Daily downtime to rest and recalibrate. I consider myself an introverted extrovert and need some downtime before and after socializing. It gives me the energy I need to recharge. :)
You don’t need perfection, just consistency. A stable routine acts like an anchor, giving your child a sense of safety and control. When they know what to expect, they can manage excitement and stress more easily.
2. Build in Extra Time for Transitions
Leaving a fun place or moving from one holiday event to another can be incredibly tough for kids. Their bodies are overstimulated, their brains are tired, and they might not have the words to express how they’re feeling.
A simple solution: plan for longer transitions than you think you need.
Try these strategies:
Give advance warnings: “We’re leaving in 10 minutes,” then a 5-minute reminder.
Use visual timers for younger children.
Plan a buffer activity after leaving a stimulating place, such as listening to calming music (my stepson LOVES EDM for sleep or study on Spotify to help him with calming his mind), reading in the car, or having a quiet moment at home.
Kids handle change much better when they aren’t rushed. Don’t we all? When we reduce transition stress, we reduce meltdowns, power struggles, and worry for both your child and you!
3. Support Neurodivergent Learners With Simple, Respectful Adjustments
For neurodivergent children, the holidays can be especially challenging. Bright lights, loud gatherings, unpredictable schedules, and sensory overload can quickly drain their emotional energy.
A few supportive approaches can make a big difference:
Create a Sensory Plan
Bring noise-cancelling headphones to gatherings.
Offer sunglasses or a hat if the lighting is overwhelming.
Have a comfort kit ready: favourite fidgets, snacks, a stuffed toy, gum, or a weighted lap pad.
Provide Predictability and Previewing
Show photos of where you're going and who will be there.
Review the plan: “First we eat, then you can play in the quiet room.” Using this language of ‘first’ ‘then’ is helpful for kids, both neurotypical and neurodivergent, to understand what is coming next so they can plan.
Let them know how long events will last and when breaks are allowed.
Offer Opt-Outs Without Guilt
Kids don’t need to hug relatives, sit at the table the entire time, or participate in every activity. Provide safe, shame-free ways to step away and regulate.
When greeting people, give your child the option to hug, high five, and dab as a way for them to feel comfortable.
Honour Their Communication Style
If your child is non-speaking or communicates differently, have alternative ways for them to express needs with gestures, cards, visuals, AAC, or a simple signal like tapping your hand.
Most importantly: follow their lead. Neurodivergent learners often know exactly what they need and they just need permission and support to access it.
4. Practice Gratitude in Simple, Daily Moments
Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for supporting emotional wellbeing, especially during a season that often emphasizes getting rather than giving. Teaching kids to notice and appreciate what they have doesn’t have to be formal. It can be woven into everyday moments.
Try these ideas as a family:
Ask a gratitude question at dinner: “What’s one thing that made you smile today?”
Create a holiday gratitude jar: Each day over the holiday break, have everyone in your family write something they are grateful for on a slip of paper and put it in the jar. You can continue the tradition into the New Year or read them together as a family the night before they go back to school.
Make thank-you cards together for family, teachers, neighbours, or friends.
And here's something parents often don’t realize: if you have a partner, letting your children see you show gratitude to each other has an enormous impact.
A simple, “Thanks for making dinner,” or “I appreciate you handling bedtime tonight,” models emotional generosity. Kids learn what gratitude looks like by watching how the adults in their lives treat each other.
5. Have Emotional Check-ins With Everyone - Not Just the Kids
When our schedules fill up, emotional needs can slip through the cracks. Regular check-ins help your child feel seen and supported, and they encourage emotional awareness which is an essential skill for stress management.
You can keep it simple:
“How are you feeling right now?”
“Is your body feeling fast or slow today?”
“Do you need anything from me to help you feel calm?”
“What was the hardest part and the best part of today?”
One of my favourite strategies is asking, “How full is your cup out of 10?” Quantifying emotional needs gives me a clearer picture of how someone is feeling and helps me adjust my support accordingly. My partner and I use this every day. It's the first thing we ask each other after work so we know who has more energy left to take on the evening.
Make emotional check-ins a family habit. Parents can model by sharing their own feelings in age-appropriate ways:
“I’m feeling tired because it was a busy day.”
“I’m excited to see everyone tonight, but I also feel a bit overwhelmed.”
This normalizes emotional expression and teaches kids that feelings aren’t problems. They’re just information to help you navigate your actions.
6. Lower Expectations and Focus on Connection
Holidays sometimes come with pressure: perfect meals, perfect behaviour, perfect photos, perfect everything. Children feel that pressure too, even if they don’t say it.
It’s okay to set gentle expectations and boundaries, but also give space for:
Imperfect moments
Sensory overload
Needing breaks
Quiet time away from the group
Them saying no to extra activities
What kids remember most is how they felt, not how many events they attended. A slower, more connected holiday often becomes the most meaningful one.
You don’t need elaborate strategies or perfectly planned days to help your child manage holiday stress. With steady routines, gentle transitions, gratitude-filled moments, and consistent check-ins, you create a supportive environment where your child feels secure and understood.
This year, aim for a holiday season rooted in connection, calm, and compassion for your child, your family, and yourself.