How Can I Help My Daughter Become More Confident?
By Julie Diamond, OCT
International Women’s Day on March 8th is more than just a celebration - it’s a call to action to empower girls and women worldwide. As a female entrepreneur, this day holds deep significance for me. I have experienced firsthand the challenges and triumphs of building confidence in a world that often imposes limitations. This day serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of empowering young girls to believe in themselves and their abilities. We must raise a generation of strong, confident, and fearless girls who will change the world.
As parents, one of the greatest gifts you can give your daughter is the confidence to believe in herself, stand up for what’s right, and pursue her dreams. Confidence is not something that happens overnight but a skill that is nurtured over time. Strong self-esteem helps girls navigate challenges, resist peer pressure, and develop a sense of self-worth that will guide them throughout their lives.
This International Women’s Day, here are some practical ways parents can instill confidence in their daughters and prepare them to take on the world with courage and self-assurance.
1. Encourage a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset is the belief that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and perseverance. Encourage your daughter to embrace challenges and view failures as opportunities to learn rather than signs of inadequacy. Praise her for effort, progress, and hard work rather than just talent or intelligence.
For example, instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” say, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that problem.” This teaches her that success comes from effort, not just innate ability.
2. Model Confidence Yourself
Children learn by example, and your daughter will take cues from you. Show her what confidence looks like by setting goals, facing challenges with a positive attitude, and speaking kindly about yourself.
Avoid self-deprecating comments like “I’m so bad at math” or “I could never do that” because they send the message that some skills are beyond our ability to improve. Instead, talk about your own challenges and how you’ve overcome them.
3. Support Her Interests and Passions
Every child has unique talents and passions. Encourage your daughter to explore different activities - whether it’s sports, arts, science, or leadership roles - so she can discover what she enjoys and excels at. Give her opportunities to develop her skills and celebrate her achievements, no matter how big or small. This helps her build a strong sense of identity and self-worth.
4. Teach Her to Use Her Voice
Confident girls know that their voices matter. Encourage your daughter to express her thoughts and opinions, and listen to her with respect. Teach her how to communicate assertively, whether it’s in class, with friends, or in difficult situations. Role-play scenarios where she might need to stand up for herself or others, such as dealing with peer pressure or advocating for her needs.
5. Encourage Healthy Risk-Taking
Risk-taking isn’t just about physical adventures; it’s also about stepping outside one’s comfort zone. Encourage your daughter to try new things, even if she’s afraid of failing. Whether it’s speaking in front of the class, trying out for a sports team, or entering a competition, these experiences teach resilience and self-reliance. Let her know that mistakes are part of learning and that she is capable of handling setbacks.
6. Challenge Stereotypes
Girls often receive messages - consciously or unconsciously - that limit their potential. Challenge stereotypes that suggest certain careers, activities, or traits are “for boys” or “for girls.” Show her role models of women in diverse fields like engineering, politics, entrepreneurship, and sports. Read books and watch movies with strong female characters who break barriers and challenge societal norms.
7. Promote Body Positivity and Self-Acceptance
Body image can deeply affect a girl’s confidence. Help your daughter develop a healthy self-image by avoiding negative comments about weight, appearance, or diet. Encourage her to focus on what her body can do rather than how it looks. Support an active, healthy lifestyle, and remind her that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colours.
8. Encourage Independence and Decision-Making
Confidence grows when children make decisions and experience the consequences of their choices. Give your daughter age-appropriate responsibilities, from choosing her own clothes to managing her schedule.
Here are some age-appropriate tasks for children, broken down by age group which can be implemented in your household for any gender:
Toddlers (Ages 2-3)
Put toys away
Throw trash in the bin
Wipe up small spills
Help feed pets with supervision
Put dirty clothes in the laundry basket
Help set the table (e.g., placing napkins or spoons)
Preschoolers (Ages 4-5)
Make their bed (simple, not perfect!)
Water plants
Help sort laundry by color
Put shoes and jackets away
Set the table with dishes
Clean up after meals (e.g., bring plate to the sink)
Help pack their bag for daycare or preschool
Early Elementary (Ages 6-7)
Sweep small areas with a handheld broom
Match socks when folding laundry
Pack their own school lunch with guidance
Feed and groom pets (with supervision)
Wipe down counters and tables
Help carry light groceries
Empty small trash cans
Older Elementary (Ages 8-10)
Load and unload the dishwasher
Fold and put away their laundry
Vacuum or sweep floors
Take out the trash and recycling
Make simple meals (e.g., sandwiches, cereal, scrambled eggs)
Help younger siblings with basic tasks
Organize and clean their room without reminders
Preteens (Ages 11-12)
Do laundry from start to finish
Wash dishes or run the dishwasher
Prepare basic meals (e.g., pasta, grilled cheese)
Mow the lawn (if safe)
Babysit younger siblings for short periods (if responsible)
Take full responsibility for pet care
Manage a weekly allowance and budget small purchases
Teenagers (Ages 13+)
Cook full meals for the family
Grocery shop with a list
Deep clean bathrooms and kitchens
Babysit independently
Manage their own schedule (homework, activities, social plans)
Wash and maintain their own clothes
Help with car maintenance (e.g., checking tire pressure, pumping gas)
Let your daughter make mistakes and learn from them. The more she learns to trust herself, the more confident she will become.
9. Teach Resilience and Coping Skills
Life will have its challenges, and learning to bounce back from disappointments is key to building confidence. Teach your daughter problem-solving skills and help her reframe setbacks as learning opportunities. Encourage her to reflect on challenges by asking questions like, “What did you learn from this experience?” or “What would you do differently next time?” This helps her develop resilience and a strong sense of self-worth.
10. Surround Her with Positive Influences
The people in your daughter’s life will shape her self-esteem. Encourage friendships with peers who uplift and support her, and avoid toxic relationships that bring her down. Introduce her to strong female role models in your community or through books, movies, and social media. Positive influences will reinforce the message that she is capable, strong, and valuable.
11. Teach Empathy and Kindness
Confidence doesn’t mean being arrogant or dismissing others. Teach your daughter to balance confidence with kindness. Encourage her to support and uplift other girls rather than compete with them. When she learns that lifting others up doesn’t diminish her own success, she will develop a more secure sense of self-worth.
12. Celebrate Her Uniqueness
Every girl is different, and that’s something to celebrate! Help your daughter embrace what makes her unique. Perhaps it’s her talents, quirks, or a passion. When she feels valued for who she is, she will be less likely to compare herself to others and more likely to feel confident in her own skin.
13. Limit Social Media and Encourage Critical Thinking
With increasing rates of anxiety and depression among girls in Canada, it’s crucial to limit excessive social media use. Talk to your daughter about how women and girls are portrayed online and encourage critical thinking about unrealistic beauty standards and social pressures. Create open conversations about self-worth beyond likes and follows, and promote real-world connections and self-empowerment.
Confidence is a gift that will serve your daughter throughout her life. By fostering a growth mindset, modeling confidence, and encouraging independence, you help her build the resilience and self-belief she needs to succeed.
This International Women’s Day, take the time to empower your daughter - and all the young women in your life - to know their worth and reach their full potential.
Let’s raise a generation of strong, confident, and fearless girls who will change the world.