How Can I Help My Child Build Confidence and Social Skills for the New School Year?
By Julie Diamond, OCT
For more on easing back-to-school nerves, check out ‘What Can I Do If My Child Has Anxiety About Going Into a New Grade?’ where we explore routines, predictability, and confidence-boosting strategies.
As September approaches, parents often focus on school supplies, new routines, and brushing up on math and literacy skills. But there’s another area just as important for back-to-school success: your child’s confidence and social well-being.
Whether your child is starting school for the first time, entering a new grade, or simply adjusting after a long summer, building strong emotional skills can help them walk into the classroom feeling calm, connected, and capable.
In this post, I’ll explore simple, effective ways parents can help children develop confidence, resilience, emotional regulation, and social skills, which are all essential for a successful school year.
Why Social-Emotional Skills Matter
Social-emotional learning (SEL) is about more than just "being nice."
It includes:
Self-awareness (understanding emotions and strengths)
Self-regulation (managing feelings and behaviours)
Social awareness (empathy and perspective-taking)
Relationship skills (communication, teamwork, and conflict resolution)
Decision-making (making thoughtful, respectful choices)
When children develop these skills, they’re more likely to:
✔️ Feel confident trying new things
✔️ Build healthy friendships
✔️ Cope better with challenges or setbacks
✔️ Focus better in class
✔️ Advocate for their needs
Just like academic skills, emotional skills can be taught, practiced, and nurtured especially with your support.
1. Start with Self-Awareness: Name the Feelings
Before a child can manage their emotions, they need to understand them. This begins with language.
What you can do:
Use a “feelings chart” with faces or emojis to help your child name their emotions. This is a great song to help your child learn how to identify how they feel [LINK]
Model emotional language: “I’m feeling frustrated (red) because we’re running late.”
Read books that explore emotions and pause to ask, “How do you think this character feels? Why?”
The goal is to help your child recognize that all feelings are valid and OK to have, even the hard ones, and that they can be expressed safely.
2. Build Confidence Through Praise and Progress
Confidence doesn’t come from being told “You’re the best!” It comes from doing hard things, learning from mistakes, and seeing growth over time. *Read that sentence again*
What you can do:
Celebrate effort over outcome: “You worked really hard on that project” instead of “You’re so smart.”
Encourage a growth mindset: “You don’t know this yet.”
Let your child make age-appropriate choices (what to wear, which book to read, etc.) to give them a sense of control. It’s best to start this as early as you can with them.
Talk about your own mistakes and what you learned from them.
Confidence builds slowly through small wins. Each time your child tries again after a failure, they're growing braver!
3. Practice Problem-Solving Together
Children feel more confident when they know how to solve problems, whether it’s tackling a tough math question or handling a disagreement with a friend.
What you can do:
When a problem arises, pause and ask: “What do YOU think we should do?”
Walk through the steps together:
What’s the problem?
How do you feel?
What are some options?
What might happen with each choice?
What will you try?
By involving your child in solutions (instead of jumping in to fix everything), you empower them to handle future challenges on their own.
4. Role-Play Social Scenarios
Social dynamics can be tricky, especially for children who are shy, anxious, or neurodivergent. Practicing common situations ahead of time can ease the pressure and build confidence.
Try role-playing:
How to ask to join a game
What to say if someone says something unkind
How to introduce yourself to a new classmate
What to do if you need help from a teacher
Keep it light, silly, and low-stakes. Let your child take turns being both themselves and the other person so they can practice empathy too.
5. Support for Only Children: Opportunities to Practice Social Skills
An only child may have fewer opportunities for daily peer interaction at home, which can make the back-to-school social environment feel overwhelming.
What you can do:
Set up casual playdates or library group activities where your child can interact with peers in low-pressure settings.
Enroll them in small group extracurriculars (like art, STEM clubs, or sports) to practice sharing, compromising, turn-taking, and group communication.
Encourage empathy-building activities like volunteering or caring for pets.
Practicing social interactions outside the classroom helps only children build social fluency and confidence around peers.
6. Create a Safe Space to Talk
A child who feels emotionally safe at home is more likely to take healthy risks at school raising their hand, trying something new, or speaking up for themselves.
What you can do:
Set aside 5–10 minutes each day to connect without screens or distractions.
Ask open-ended questions:
“What was something that made you smile today?”
“Was there anything tricky or confusing?”
“Who did you talk to at lunch?”
Listen without jumping in to fix. Sometimes just being heard is enough.
Let your child know you’re always available to talk about anything.
For tips on creating a calm, supportive learning environment at home, see ‘How Can You Create a Calm and Supportive Home Environment to Boost Your Child’s Success?’
7. Support for Neurodivergent Learners: Respecting Their Needs While Building Confidence
Neurodivergent children (such as those who are Autistic, have ADHD/ADD, or are highly sensitive) may experience the world differently. They often face unique challenges in emotional regulation, navigating social interactions, and adapting to typical school environments. However, with understanding and the right support, they can build strong confidence and thrive socially and emotionally.
What You Can Do:
1. Learn and honour your child’s sensory and communication needs.
Every neurodivergent child has a unique sensory profile. Some may be overwhelmed by bright lights or loud environments, while others may seek sensory input like fidgeting or movement.
Example: Create a sensory kit for outings or school using a small bag with noise-cancelling headphones, fidget toys, or sunglasses.
Example: If your child uses an AAC device or prefers typing to speaking, give them time and space to communicate in their preferred way.
2. Prepare scripts or visual supports for tricky social situations.
Social scripts and visual aids can give neurodivergent kids tools to handle situations they find stressful or unfamiliar.
Example: Before a birthday party, review a social story that explains what to expect (e.g., people singing, sharing cake, taking turns).
Example: Practice a script together for how to ask to join a game: “Hi, can I play too?” or offer alternatives like, “I’ll watch for a bit first.”
3. Celebrate and affirm their strengths, passions, and progress.
Too often, neurodivergent children are only told what they’re doing wrong. Shifting the focus to their talents builds self-esteem and motivation.
Example: If your child loves Minecraft or dinosaurs, use those interests to teach social or emotional skills (e.g., drawing how a dinosaur might feel angry and what helps it calm down).
Example: Highlight small wins like “You asked for help instead of getting upset.”
4. Teach emotional literacy in concrete, sensory-friendly ways.
Understanding emotions can be abstract, so use visuals and physical cues to help.
Example: Use an “emotion thermometer” or Zones of Regulation chart to help your child identify how they’re feeling.
Example: Practice co-regulation: if they’re dysregulated, model calm breathing or squeezing a stress ball together. I like to do ‘Box Breathing’ when I’m feeling overwhelmed (breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, then breathe out for a count of 4).
7. Support social development through low-pressure play.
Many neurodivergent kids do better with one-on-one or parallel play rather than forced group activities.
Example: Host low-key playdates with one friend at a time and allow for breaks.
Example: Use cooperative board games (like “Outfoxed”) to practice turn-taking and teamwork without the stress of competition.
8. Teach (and Model) Emotional Regulation
Big feelings are normal, but children need tools to manage them especially during transitions like back-to-school.
What you can do:
Teach calming strategies like deep breathing (“Smell the flower, blow out the candle”), counting to 10, or squeezing a stress ball.
Help them notice early signs of overwhelm: “I see your fists are clenched. Are you feeling frustrated?”
Give your child a heads-up before transitions. Instead of surprising them, set a timer (for example, “In 5 minutes, it’s time to clean up”). This gentle warning helps them adjust to the change and can reduce stress or meltdowns.
Keep your own reactions in check. Your calm presence helps co-regulate theirs.
It’s okay if your child has meltdowns. What matters most is how you help them learn from those moments.
9. Focus on Connection Before Correction
When kids feel connected, they’re more open to guidance. Before offering advice, criticism, or discipline, try reconnecting.
Try saying:
“I can see you’re having a hard time right now. I’m here for you.”
“Let’s take a break and come back to this when we’re calm.”
“I believe in you. Let’s figure this out together.”
This doesn't mean letting go of limits. It means leading with empathy.
10. Support Transitions with Routines
Routines help children feel safe and secure, especially when things are changing.
What you can do:
Establish predictable morning and evening routines before school starts.
Use visual schedules if your child is younger or benefits from structure.
Walk or drive by the school before the first day to ease jitters.
Familiarity lowers anxiety and confident kids (and adults!) thrive on knowing what to expect.
Final Thoughts: Confidence Grows in Connection
Helping your child build confidence and social-emotional skills doesn’t require fancy programs or perfect parenting. It comes down to connection, consistency, and compassion.
As your child heads into a new school year, remind them often:
🌟 They are capable.
🌟 They are loved.
🌟 They don’t have to do it all alone.
With your support, they can shine brighter than ever.
Need extra support this school year?
At Diamond Teachers Group, our tutors don’t just focus on academics. We also help students develop confidence, executive functioning, and social-emotional skills to succeed in and out of the classroom.
📩 Reach out to learn how we can support your child this fall.